


Queen of Mayhem

by Fliptail27, WeNNoKK



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Drama, Drarry, Established Relationship, Fic War, M/M, Plot Twists, Zombies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-04-05 10:56:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14042751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fliptail27/pseuds/Fliptail27, https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeNNoKK/pseuds/WeNNoKK
Summary: Draco and Harry have started their adult lives together and are trying their best to make it work. When strange things start happening it puts even more strain on an already tense relationship. Will their pasts tear them apart? Can they work through it? Will they be eaten by Zombies? Only time will tell!Join us on this crazy roller coaster of a story for the next 9 installments as the plot thickens!





	1. Unfiltered Beginings

**Author's Note:**

> 1 - 2 - 3 - 4, WE DECLARE A FIC WAR!!!  
> What the F*#% is a Fic War you might ask? Good question. Basically one day Fliptail27 was trolling tumblr and was like, “Hey WeNNoKK. I found this thing and we should totally do it.” To which WeNNoKK was like, “Hells yassss.” So here we are.  
> 2 writers - 10 chapters - 2 tropes  
> This glorious mess will update once a week for the next 10 (well 9 now) weeks, as we try and wrestle the story back from the other. The tropes or fic genres are opposing and one is serious with the other being whimsical.  
> For this fic WeNNoKK will be writing the whimsical Coffee Shop AU and Fliptail27 will be ravaging the Harry Potter universe with a Zombie Apocalypse AU.  
> RULES:  
> The writers have to take anything written in the previous chapter as cannon for the Fic. It can not be changed after it’s happened.  
> The writers have to try their best to wrench the fic out of the other person’s trope and back into theirs. 
> 
> Special thanks to autisticvoltronld on tumblr for the concept idea!!

The din of the crowd in Diagon Alley was as insufferable as always. Tired Rune Cafe was right off the main shopping center and more or less was always crowded. _How were there always so many people with nothing better to do than mill about?_ Draco turned from the window, dropped the rag back into the bucket of warm, soapy water and then continued cleaning off the tables. _I should be working in the Ministry by now, but instead I’m here... wiping up tart crumbs.._ . He let loose an exasperated sigh. It had been three years since the Battle of Hogwarts. Three years since his family had chosen the wrong side - since he had been forced to choose the wrong side. The memories of what had almost happened to Harry haunted him, but that is what it had taken for him to see what his family had made him become. Shaking his head he cleared his thoughts and retrained his attention to the task at hand _. I can’t go down that path here. No one can doubt why I’m doing this._

 

After finishing with the last of the tables he returned the bucket to it’s spot behind the counter. Catriona nodded her thanks at him and finished taking the order of a particularly grumpy Goblin. As the patron went to find a table, Draco turned to make his order.

 

“Is he coming by to pick you up for lunch today?”

Draco nodded, “I’m sure he won’t be able to stay for long though. Work has been keeping him pretty busy.”

“I’m sorry Draco”, she gave him a small smile and turned to make the goblin’s food.

He hated that she pitied him. Hated that everyone knew about the little dragon boy who left the nest for the boy who lived. They should be equals. They always should have been equals, but he was here and Potter was out in the world actually making a difference.

 

 _It’s like Hogwarts all over again_.

 

Cat knew more than most about his troubles over the last three years. He had made his way halfway down all the shops in Diagon Alley practically begging for a job after swearing off his family and she had been the only one to truly see what he was trying to do and not what he had done. That he was trying to be a good person. That his family wasn’t who he was. Harry was the first person that had convinced him that he could be more and when they had become friends it was more than Draco could have hoped. Then Harry broke off his engagement and they became more. Harry and Ginny’s split had been very public and very messy. Then a year later when he and Harry started seeing each other. Right now, even if he could afford to stop working and go through training at the ministry, would they even hire him? Would they be like everyone else and only see the boy who was weak enough to be manipulated by Voldemort?

 

_I need to stop pitying myself. Time. That is what the world needs. Time to forgive and forget and to see me for the person that I am now. Not who I was then. I chose this. I chose Harry._

 

_And I chose right._

 

Resigning himself, Draco finished and handed off the Goblin’s latte to Cat. The door to the shop rung and looking up a smile exploded on Draco’s face as Harry came through the door. _Damn that uniform never gets old._ The tight fitting black suit of the Aurors had always just _fit_ Harry. Like he was born to wear it.

 

Draco waved over to Cat to signal that he was taking his lunch and in return she gave him what had to have been her best attempt at an encouraging smile. He removed his apron and grabbed his coat heading towards the door..

Harry’s face broke into a huge grin, “You ready?”

Standing on his tiptoes to kiss him in greeting he replied, “You have no idea.”

 

* * *

 

“So that’s when he was like, **_my name is Gornuk not Bornuk. What is it with you baristas?_ ** I don’t even think they realize that we do it on purpose. They all order a to go coffee everyday and they still haven’t realize that we misspell it differently everyday?”

Harry laughed and coughed as he tried not to choke on his drink. “The goblins will never figure it out. Thick as they are.”

Draco chuckled too, “Even so, at least it gives Cat and I something to laugh at during the day.”

Draco noticed the shift in Harry’s expression at the mention of Catriona.

 _Why is he always so jealous? Well. Here we go again_.

“You know Draco, you don’t have to work there. I’ve told you a million times, I can pay for your Ministry training program.” He leaned forward and took Draco’s hand, “You should be doing what you love, not stuck making lattes in a back alley coffee shop. Please? Let me do this for you.”

Draco tried not to roll his eyes. How many times had they had this conversation? “Harry, we’ve talked about this. I need to do this for me. Everyone knows that I left my family after Hogwarts and running to you is exactly what they’re expecting me to do.”  

“And what’s so wrong with that?”

Draco flinched at the hurt in his eyes, “You know that’s not what I meant.”

Letting out a long breath, he closed his eyes for a moment and collected his thoughts.  
“Harry, you mean more to me than anything else. I’ve already told you this, but I’m going to keep tell you until the end of time.” Leaning over and taking Harry’s warm hand in his, he made him look him in the eyes. “When I thought I’d lost you I thought I’d lost myself. We have to be equal for this to work and in order for us to be there I have to do this. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, I want more to have you take away all of my life’s problems, but you can’t time.”

He paused waiting for Harry to say something, say anything, but he didn’t.

“I know what you’re actually worried about. You never can manage to suck it up and just come out with it though.” He really was trying, and failing, to keep his smugness at bay. “Catriona and I are just friends Harry. I value her as a friend and she is the only other person that sees me the way that you do. The only other person who even gave me a chance when I needed it.”  

Harry nodded and looked down at his plate. He pushed his food around with his fork as they sat in silence.

After a few moments, Draco had to break the silence.  

“Besides who would throw away the boy who lived for some chick? Regardless of how good her butt looks in those slacks.”

He cracked a grin at Harry, who couldn’t help but return it. They settled back in the some semblance of normalcy.

“So how’s your work been? I know you’ve said you can’t talk about it much, but you’ve been really busy lately. Any non-classified projects you want to vent about?”

“Yeah it’s been okay. They, um, gave me an apprentice this week, so training her has been taking up a lot of my time.”

“That’s exciting! The first year training students are the ones that get assigned to you guys right? Anyone we know?”

Harry stiffened slightly, as if waiting for the worst, Draco narrowed his eyes.

 

“Ginny Weasley.”

 

Draco’s expression turned from shock to outrage to murderous in rapid succession.

“They gave you HER? How is that even possible?”

“Yeah, apparently Hermione pulled some strings for her. BUT, I don’t want you to worry about this. We split up almost three years ago and I have made it abundantly clear that you and I are together now. Besides, she’s Ron’s sister we should try to smooth things over with her.”

Draco tried to hide his agitation, “and what if she doesn’t want to let it go. What if she never lets us just be happy?”

“Where is all of this coming from?”

“You’ve barely been home this month. These lunches are just about the only time that I get to spend with you anymore. Is it her?”

Harry just stared at him, and then started laughing again.

“Glad you think it’s funny.” Draco crossed his arms and looked away, “If she’s calling in favors to be close to you again I think I have a right to be worried.”

Harry reached across the table and softly grabbed Draco’s chin, turning his head to face him. “How many times do I need to show you that you are the one for me? The only one for me?” Harry’s eyes burned into his with a voracious intensity.

“She’s nothing more to me now than my best friend’s little sister. I promise she’s not the reason I haven’t been home. There’s just some really weird stuff going on right now and that’s kinda my thing.”

“ I know. I just can’t get it out of my head. I’m really trying.”

“Draco,” Harry’s green eyes bore into him with unrelenting intensity, “I don’t feel anything for her anymore. She’s in my past.”

**_Annnnnd weeeeeEEEE are NEVER EVER EVER getting back together_ **

“Speak of the devil.”

Draco snickered at the ringtone.

“What? … No I’m at lunch with Draco, my boyfriend …. Are you kidding me right now? …. Seriously, can it wait for another 30 minutes? …. Fine.”

Harry sighed, “ I have to go. Duty calls.”

“It’s okay, I have to get back to work too.”

As they stood up to leave Draco grabbed Harry by his arm and pulled him close, “Come home tonight?”

Harry raised and eyebrow, the look on Draco’s face telling him everything that he couldn’t say out loud in mixed company, “you bet.”


	2. An Egregious Turn of Events

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Two - Zombie Apocalypse AU written by none other than Fliptail27

Finally it was time to close up shop. It had been a rather grueling day and a rather disappointing lunch with his boyfriend for Draco. All he really wanted to do now was go home and relax with a good thriller. The first warning they heard was the blood curdling scream that dropped off all too suddenly. Then they heard the clatter of breaking windows and damaged items. When Draco went to investigate he discovered a horde of shambling zombies making their way down Diagon Alley straight towards them. 

“Shit!” Draco cursed. “Cat we have a problem and I could really use your assistance.”

He watched as a witch exploded a large group of zombies only to have one launch itself at her. It sunk its broken teeth right into her juggularas as she let out a high pitched scream ending in a gurgle. Draco wrinkled his nose in distaste but it didn’t affect him too greatly, he had certainly seen worse. 

Cat finally emerged from the back confusion in her stormy grey eyes. She looked to see what Draco was staring at and horror dawned on her. “We have to help.”

Draco rolled his eyes. “I knew you were going to say that.” He grabbed his wand to follow Cat outside and face the horde coming for them. He grabbed Catriona’s slender arm to indicate she should follow his lead and wait until they were closer to inflict maximum damage with minimum spells. It would only take a second to recite the correct spells names but that second could be the difference between life and death. 

Draco’s heart was pounding but it wasn’t all from fear. No he was excited. He hadn’t had a good chance to practice offensive magic in months. Now was his chance to prove himself and maybe even become a hero. He dared the zombies to draw closer, the spell he wanted to use already coming to mind. Good God these sod’s were slow! But there were so many, all in different states of decay. Flesh dripping off bones like rivulets of water. Dried and crusty blood from wounds   
long proven fatal. Some were completely intact as if they could be normal human beings if it weren’t for the cold dead gleam to their eyes. 

Finally they were close enough that they could do some damage. “Now!” Draco yelled, followed immediately by his cry of “Reducto!” Completely incinerating a zombie where it stood reducing it to nothing but a pile of ash. The smell of charred flesh curled into the air, turning Draco’s stomach just a bit. 

Next to him Cat squeaked and yelled out, “Bombarda!” Exploding a group of two zombies. Limbs flew into the air landing with a sickening squelch. The horde could almost feel the warmth of living flesh, breaking out into a mad scramble. 

“Incendio.” Draco yelled taking down another zombie in a fiery explosion. Two more immediately replaced it, only to be taken out by a “Bombarda!” hurled from his wand. Draco heard a crash behind him, looking over his shoulder he saw more zombies shuffling towards them. “We’re being flanked.” He yelled over to Cat as he grabbed her arm at the elbow and pressed his back against hers. 

“Hold on it’s going to get a bit warm. Flammi Demnia!” Draco held his wand high, creating a burning circled of fire around him. Dumbledore himself had taught Draco this spell though he couldn’t hold it for long. Zombies burned all around them as more continued to poor into the fire only to be burnt to a crisp. Draco grunted with the strain of the spell, sweat pouring down his back. If he survived this, he would really need a shower. He finally reached his limit breaking off the spell, taking just a moment to breathe. It was one moment too long. A zombie broke through the charred carcasses headed straight for Draco, but Cat was too quick. 

“Reducto!” She cried, killing the zombie before it reached its target but more were coming. 

“Diffindo!” Draco said, pointing his wand at a new target, shredding it completely to bits. He started to really flow now. “Reducto. Bombarda.” Killing off the nearest zombies, his handsome face smudged with ash. He heard a faint pop turning his wand on the newest enemy. Instead he saw Harry standing there with his hands up, sharp blue eyes surveying the situation. “Come to see the show have we?” Draco smirked, as he used Deletrius to completely disintegrate a zombie, one of it’s brethren slipping and falling in the puddle of goo. 

Harry rolled his eyes but smiled anyway. “Only you would call this a show.”

“What’s the matter Potter? Scared?” Sure they were in a life or death situation exploding zombies left and right, but they could still have a little fun right?

“You know what? Yeah I am a bit scared, there are zombies everywhere. It’s like a horror film Dudley used to love.” Harry started incanting spells as well incinerating the zombies as they poured into their range. 

Draco had to laugh quietly. “Saint Potter, the chosen one, doesn’t know any miraculous spells to kill zombies?”

Harry shot him a dirty glare continuing to annihilate zombies. They heard another pop as bright red hair briefly entered Draco’s field of vision. “You brought her?!”

Harry sighed. “I had to. It’s my job.” He knew Draco would react this way, but he didn’t really have any time to deal with that right now. 

Ginny immediately whirled on a zombie. “Alarte Ascendare!” She shot the zombie nearest to her 20 ft. in the air, already seeking out a new target. 

“Look she isn’t even killing them.” Draco grumbled extremely irritated. “Glacius.” He targeted the plummeting zombie, turning it to ice just before it impacted with the unforgiving cobblestones shattering it to pieces. “She’s only been here a few minutes and I already have to clean up after her.” Draco fumed. Harry sent him an apologetic look, then continued to fight. 

“Bombarda Maxima!” Draco took out his frustrations on the nearest group of zombies. He winced as the spell caught the corner of the Tired Rune Cafe taking out a chunk of wall. 

“Oi watch it!” Cat called over her shoulder. 

“Aguamenti!” Draco heard over his shoulder as he was doused with a spray of water shooting out of the tip of Ginny’s wand. The jet of water blasted the two zombies in front of her cascading them back to hit the next in line. The zombies rocketed back under the force, pieces of flesh slogging off the muscle and sinew underneath. The zombies scrambled over each other in a giant pile slipping and sliding unable to get back up. 

“She did that on purpose.” Draco grumbled to Harry, pushing his damp pale lock out of his eyes. Then they heard a piercing scream as Cat was over run. Zombies clawed and bit and assaulted any bit of flesh they could get their hands on. Rending her once pretty form to pieces. Bright red blood stained her once golden hair, her scream coming to a sudden end. 

Ginny yelled, surging towards Catriona. 

“We need to retreat.” Harry said, pain clouding his blue eyes. 

Draco nodded. “Right! Let’s go.”

“Get Ginny.” Harry ordered. “I’ll whip us up some cover.” Draco looked at him incredulously, they could just leave her. “Don’t argue just do it!”

Draco ground his teeth, pointing his wand at the struggling form of Ginny. “Carpe Retractum.” A length of rope shot out of his wand wrapping around Ginny and pulling her towards him. Once he had hold of her he reached out and grabbed Harry’s arm. A dense fog swept around them, then they apparated to the basement of the cafe for a quick moment of rest. Draco dropped Ginny unceremoniously on the floor the moment they were safe. 

“How did they get into Diagon Alley anyhow?” Draco asked Harry, ignoring a sobbing Ginny on the floor. 

 

Harry shrugged. “We don’t know. We think some wizard might be controlling them. Why were you two in the alley in the first place?” He looked mad. 

Draco crossed his arms defensively. “Cat wanted to help fight, but there were just so many of them.”

“Whatever. You need to be a lot more careful. Don’t let your hero complex get you killed.”

“Oh you’re one to talk.” Draco grumbled.

Harry sighed. “I just don’t want to lose you.” That put an immediate end to any other arguments from Draco. 

The three agreed it would be best to spend the night there and assess the new situation in the morning. They all took watches. Harry and Draco slept back to back pressed up against each other. When dawn came they emerged ready to apparate to safety once again. Miraculously all the zombies were gone. The only sign there had been any sort of fight for their lives was damaged buildings and dried blood. The cafe was completely trashed, chunks of wall missing, windows smashed, upturned tables. Draco sighed heavily. What was he to do now? No manager, trashed shop and the Goblins were still going to expect him to open up shop to make their lattes.


End file.
